circles

i can't bring a bottle of water
'cause they'll suspect i'm on drugs

i'm on drugs
i'm on drugs

i can't plan ahead on the future
before wanting to do so wears off

i don't want it
to wear off

everything i say while being okay
must be doubted
must be heard

everyone i wrote to under the spell
now is worry
i'm ashamed

i can joke around and be serious
ping-pong to intensity or fun

having fun
joyful fun

i could be high or lazy
good worker or involved

but being hidden
that i cannot

everything i say while being fine
must be tested
you should be smart

i prefer truth, not lying, until asked otherwise

should remember
when it's time

i can't want to go forward
too much movement's always drugs

i can't be static either
'cause too lazy is of course wrong

i can't stand them
when i'm off drugs

everyhing i do when i am actually on drugs
could be expression
of what i lost

it could be a week or earlier 'til my calibration ends
but i'm judged on
my first day

so i must bottle up my bottling up
knowing well it'll implode again
how to aim it?
who to hurt?

i want to hurt my prison guard
and not any one else
give them hell
free my pain

but i could not care less about them
when i am on my way
i forget them
drugs or not

when i'm forced to hide my passion
then my passion pours away
from a weird crack
fissure, rift, split

i can accept you go away
and also intermittence
but you should well know
even i don't know

i'm only sure it'll stabilize
if left to go along
water calms down
on their own

but now i can't let it flow
only erupt
you should go

i might blow up like a bomb
mute the guardians
burn this walls

so i can flow again
so my water can be calm

but for now i'll be hidden doing drugs